SINGAPORE – Local actress Rebecca Lim never had the desire to become a mother. Not once in her past relationships did she entertain thoughts of starting a family with her partners.

But the 38-year-old star began thinking she could be a parent after marrying Mr Matthew Webster. She married Mr Webster, a Singaporean of British-Chinese descent, in 2022. The couple now have a 1½-year-old son.

Lim opened up about her life struggles in a candid interview on the podcast Who We Are With Rachel Lim. The hour-long episode with the co-founder of local fashion brand Love, Bonito was streamed on YouTube and Spotify on Aug 12.

“(Matthew) gave me the peace and security I never had, and it made me think maybe I can have a family with this man,” Lim said.

The actress also discussed her ongoing issues with mum guilt when she returned to the entertainment industry to film a long-form English drama in July 2024. Her son was then about seven months old.

Filming went on for nine months, and Lim found herself crying and struggling with inadequacy in the initial weeks.

Besides not being able to memorise her lines because of “brain fog”, she felt stressed because “physically, you don’t look 100 per cent”.

“Then while I’m at work, I don’t feel 100 per cent a mother because I’m leaving my son at home,” she said, adding that she was “not here, not there”.

“I felt terrible, guilty and inadequate as an actor and as a mother then. It took me a few months to slowly get back into the swing of things. I think what motherhood has taught me is to be 100 per cent present.”

Lim, who recently hosted the variety show With Love, Becks (2024), also addressed the image pressures she faced post-partum, especially when she made her first public appearance at Star Awards 2024.

“It was two months after giving birth, and you face your female colleagues who all looked go...